Your woman’s Feelings shouldn’t get in the way of you charting your course.
As a man, you have a mission. You are projecting yourself towards something meaningful. You have a course set to follow and you will persevere. You are here to do, on purpose.
And if something you do on the journey of that mission triggers her to feel some feels that are, let’s be real, BIG, Uncomfortable, Messy — this doesn’t mean that you should stop moving forward.
It doesn’t mean that your mission is faulty.
It doesn’t mean that you are wrong.
The feelings that flow through her have nothing to do with your mission, and everything to do with her own growth and healing.
And — her feelings might be intuition. This is why they must be given space. To be heard with a discerning ear. So do listen. Hold. See clear.
Her responsive intuitive knowing is different than her reactive parts emoting.
But if you stop missioning to help her stop feeling her feelings, or to make her feel “better”, then you’re missing the whole point.
Can She Depend On You?
If her feelings get in the way of your purposeful intent, of you showing up for the cause, then you are simultaneously a victim of manipulation and perceived by her as an unsafe space.
If your mission is thwarted because she is upset, then she cannot trust you to be in control — to manage the unexpected while staying true to what matters.
If her feelings have the ability to manipulate your direction, then who exactly is in charge of your purpose?
If your mission is sidelined because she’s angry, then you are telling her that her feelings are “too much”.
You can maintain your mission while allowing her feelings to be.
They are two separate things and you, a man with purpose, honor, and conviction, have it within you to sustain the course while communicating that she is allowed to feel whatever feelings need to be felt.
And you, can handle it.
You will not be swayed by feelings, but you can absolutely show up for them.
So, when she feels distraught, afraid, rage-full, confused…. You may pause, you may slow down, you may give your attention to her, creating space for the reality of those feelings. You may be present to the realness of her messiness, validating her worthiness by not needing her to change how she feels, even one bit.
But if you quit your mission because she has feelings — you portray inconsistency and unreliability.
And if you react to her feelings with impatience or fixing, under the guise of care or the desire for her to feel “better”, you portray lack of capacity, strength, or understanding. You are saying — some of your feelings are “bad”, when the truth is, no feelings are bad, they just are.
The need for her to feel differently about what you're doing is a sly insecurity, which lets her know that you can’t be relied on. Not for reassurance of her beingness, nor reassurance of your steadfastness.
Can you stay the course, maintain control, while allowing her to feel her feels? Paying attention to what is important — the feelings that deserve space?
This does not mean you have to agree with the narrative she attaches to her feelings. It does not mean you must be the one to sift and sort through the meaning-making either. She has girlfriends, sisters, her therapist that can help her work through the knots of narrative that bind her to the emotional chaos that would otherwise thwart your mission.
It’s the space holding of all her feelings that you can and will show up for, AS you stay your course.
You are strong. Be that strength.
Help her hold her intensity, without needing to change any of it — not her feelings, nor your mission.
Can Your Purpose Depend On You?
You have a purpose. You’re working your mission. And people, including your woman will express feelings in response to you taking purposeful action — because purposeful action evokes change — change that demands evolution not just of you, but of those around you. And change, even change for Purpose will be met with resistance and messy feelings.
Allow them to be.
Don’t allow them to manipulate you.
Answer the call, as a dutiful man, by creating space for her feelings, and in duty to God, by remaining intent on the cause.
Because she needs you to show up for your mission just as much, if not more than, her feelings.
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No matter your gender — the invitation is to remember that within you is both the feminine and the masculine. Consider that Unity Consciousness is the practice of divine inner union — working to integrate and balance the masculine and feminine energies within. With that concept in mind — can you read this article again, considering your own mission and your emotional experience — and how you might practice holding in balance both steadfastness for your purposeful pursuit and an honoring of the natural flow of feelings?
Amy Fairbridge of Do Less Be More Coaching runs BE YOUR PURPOSE — a 16 week intensive for humans ready to take responsibility and live a more aligned and meaningful life.
Learn more about the journey here.
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